From Argument to Discussion — & from Disagreement to Relationship & Support
As our Executive Director Bill Taylor noted last week, the polarized nature of our culture ranks among the most divisive ever. It is not simply about how we disagree; it is also about the vast amount of items we divide over. It is no longer simply the “big” issues of life that get our dander up; it seems like everything is fodder for a fight. And while Bill’s point that we must take a strong and unwavering stand on the gospel is an essential one, I want to make a complementary point in this short blog – that disagreements on just about everything will always exist and holding them correctly and productively is also part of our call as Christians.
Once we are anchored and secure in our identity in God as provided for, and articulated in, the gospel, we should have both the confidence and compassion to navigate disagreements in productive ways. In Romans 14 Paul indicates that we will have differences on issues for which we hold strong convictions. Too often we hold those convictions not simply firmly, but also as universal, exclusive, and inalterable. In other words, we are convinced that everyone must hold the same convictions, and unfortunately, we then disparage anyone who dares to disagree with us. But that approach does not align with Paul’s instructions in Romans 14, where we are told that it is fine to hold those convictions, but such convictions are to be “between yourself and God” (Rom 14:22, NLT). As Langer and Muehlhoff put it in “Winsome Conviction,” those convictions are not primarily for “export.”
If our attitude is right — and our anchoring is truly set in Jesus and the gospel alone — then we need not be threatened by others who hold convictions different to ours on secondary issues.
The beauty of the gospel is not that we all look the same, but rather that we can be a mosaic glued together through Christ and His gospel alone. And mosaics requires differences!
But it is also worthy of note from Romans 14 that the greater responsibility Paul lays upon us is not simply to hold on to our personal convictions well (even though we are encouraged to do that). God’s words to us (through Paul) seem to indicate that our greater responsibility as it pertains to “personal convictions” is the welfare of the other person. In other words, how can we hold a conviction in such a manner that protects, builds up, and encourages brothers and sisters who hold a different conclusion on matters which fall outside the core essentials of the gospel? Romans 14:18 tells us that if you “serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God, and others will approve of you too.” The “attitude” Paul is speaking of is a life of “goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit,” marked by a self-sacrificing love for our brothers and sisters.
Disagreements around anything non-essential (a future blog will suggest some ways to differentiate between the essentials and the non-essentials) are never to be managed by an argument intended to prove that “I have the right conviction and understanding.” Rather such disagreements should lead to a discussion about the welfare of the other, and how we can honor God in our differences. And I am convinced that as we do just that, the testimony of hearts shaped by Jesus will mark the message of the gospel as unique, in a day where not only is such an attitude rare, it is needed by people who need reconciliation (with God and others). Never before has gracious disagreement and humble self-sacrificing been so rare, and thus so powerful. As God’s ambassadors, we are to be about reconciliation and restoration of relationship — first with God, but then also with one another. That restoration is not based on us agreeing on every issue, but rather on what God has done for us in Jesus, uniting us as a wonderful mosaic of God’s creation glued together by Jesus — not united by our own wisdom or understanding or agreement on every “jot and tittle.” From argument all the way to relationship and support — that is the path Jesus leads us on.
Terry Kaufman
EFCC Leadership Catalyst